Perfectionism - the little demon!

I've been talking myself out of MANY things lately by claiming that I can't do X until all of this Y is in perfect order. I really want to do X and will do X as soon as I'm caught up on Y. If only I didn't always have so much Y to do, I'd be able to have time for X.

What is my X? In general, ART.

What is my Y? Oh, so many mindless things ...

All the household junk that needs to be done but really doesn't need to

consume my days the way I allow it to sometimes. It's the busy work I make for myself continually making 'to do' lists instead of just buckling down and 'doing.'

It's the quick errands run that turns into a day of leisure shopping because I don't want to go home and do the items on my 'to do' list.

It's too much and too often unnecessary computer time.

Even when I commit to art I hold myself back.

I want to make a project but need certain supplies.

I take time to gather/buy all the supplies but need to learn the techniques.

I take an online class to learn the techniques but don't want to 'waste' the supplies by using them on something unworthy of keeping so I don't try anything at all.

I take in all this knowledge through the course but don't allow myself the slightest

learning curve necessary to get started actually applying it.

It's time to stop this madness!

Perfectionism needs to be kicked to the curb!

It's time to gently allow myself to be imperfect, inexperienced, and

awkward at something new instead of expecting to ace it the first time through.
A book I'm currently reading, The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown,
is reinforcing this big time -- and boy, do I need to hear it regularly!

I'm imperfect and I'm enough!

It's time to allow myself to make mistakes and create ugly art
but learn through the process instead of expecting to create a masterpiece
every time I sit before a blank canvas.

It's time to start showing up to practice art instead of always having a plan to make

specific art. Really, no art created is unworthy when the

process of creating brings joy and satisfaction.

It's time to just show up -- imperfections welcome!

Change is a-coming!!

So ... a little art in every day ... not so much lately.

I'm dusting off my studio table after several months of inactivity. I let so many things keep me

from creating in the studio this year. Some have been very good things - family things that were wonderful to be present for. Some were necessary household things that we all have to make time for. Some were actually creative things that I was involved in outside my little home studio (which I may post on in the future?).

Mostly, however, I've stopped being accountable to myself about the importance to me

of a little art in every day.

 

But it's time for that to change.

When I was a young girl, growing up in a large household on the farm, every Saturday was house cleaning day. My sisters and I would have to get up early (often being awakened before 8am to the sound of the vacuum cleaner - my mother's not-so-subtle hint at what day of the week it was!) and help my mom thoroughly clean house. No Saturday morning cartoons, no games, no play, no arts and crafts, no going outside until the cleaning jobs were all finished. We were usually able to work together well enough to finish by early afternoon and were then free to choose our amusements until chore and dinner prep.

I used to look forward to baking and creating art on those afternoons.

I'd pour through the cookbooks for new recipes to try. (I baked my first loaf of braided Challah bread when I was about 13.) I'd also spend hours in my room coloring or cutting up construction paper and

glueing together collages, dioramas, and any other 3D art.

Both are still great pleasures for me. Both are creative things I still look forward to doing

'once my real work is finished'.

On the farm -- with its never-ending list of chores to accomplish 24/7, and in the household I began when I married my sweetheart -- when we were busily having and raising our four children, this order of priorities was quite necessary. Increasingly though, with the independence of my children,

I think that order of priorities is a bit backwards for me.

The 'real work' I'd like to be doing is the creative work.

 

What would happen if I flipped my priorities around?

What would happen if I treated my creative skills with respect and allowed them to fill more hours of my day than ... say, laundry?

What would happen if I allowed myself to learn more and dive a little deeper into art?

For the longest time I've been placing my art at the bottom of the To Do list. I've only allowed myself time for it if and when all other tasks are finished. I now realize this is a mistake.

I need art in my every day routine. It energizes me, uplifts me, calms me, strengthens me to

do the unpleasant and mundane things I have to do.

I should be doing more of it.

I will do more of it.
 

Change is coming!

A watercolor vintage Valentine project

I didn't really set out to make a Valentine project this year, it just sort of happened.

I was surfing through the Live with Prima online video classes and came across this one and simply had to try it out. I had been hoarding  selectively reserving Prima's watercolor papers for a very special purpose and now it was time to bring them out to PLAY.

Using the watercolor papers (which start off totally black on white), some Distress Ink, Distress Stains, Glimmer Glaze, watercolor crayons, watercolor pens, watercolor pencils, and Glimmer Mist, this was what my pages looked like. I loved them too much not to make a book out of them.

What better to share on Valentine's Day than the love verse from I Corinthians.

I mounted the pages on black cardstock, then on an old acrylic book I'd also been saving for too long. The book hangs from my 7Gypsies display stand.

Such a cool project to work on.

I did lose a pair of my favorite jeans in the process though. NOTE: Glimmer Glaze doesn't do well on favorite jeans or on carpet. Oops!

Thanks for looking.

Jill

FINALLY, right?

Since life seems to be traveling at light speed for me, it's no wonder I haven't blogged since ... what? November!! Wow. Sorry. Been a little busy.

In a nutshell there were ...

the holidays,

the interim term and final semester of college for our oldest son,

the many phone calls of encouragement to said college son,

the frequent travels of my DH (LOTS of this),

the trip to California I took to visit old friends and my favorite beach (Laguna),

the online art classes I enjoyed (but have yet to do most of the work for),

the homework (and extra projects - GRRR!) help for our 3 kids still home,

the many chorus and band concerts (we enjoyed but often came 3 a week),

the spring break trip to Utah skiing (that was great!),

the Easter weekend trip to Michigan to visit my mom on the farm,

the middle school musical, Cinderella, in which my daughter was "the studious sister"

the set for said musical, which I got to create! (So much FUN!)

the church dinner theater, Family Camp,

in which my son was the camp's nature guide and my daughter a Bonnie Bell scout,

the set for said dinner theater,

where this time I got to put up wallpaper for a faux log cabin and rock fireplace,

the weekend trip to Massachusetts my DH and I took to see our son's senior art exhibit,

the vertigo and subsequent ER visit for me on said Massachusetts trip (So. Not. Fun.),

the gardening (herbs, flowers, tomato and pepper plants),

the end-of-school-year wrap up events that make you beg for summer break,

the usual May and June events -

Mother's Day, my birthday, my in-laws birthdays, our anniversary, Father's Day,

and my husband's birthday (whew! those two are killer months!)

the graduation party and art exhibit we held for our college son -

Yay! He has a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree!

and, now that summer break is upon us ...

the summer band and chorus weeks,

the swimming lessons,

the endless requests for play dates, pool dates, sleepovers, and outings with friends,

the family game nights (YES!),

the later bedtimes,

the sleeping in (AHHH!),

the endless trips to the grocery store (man, these kids can eat!),

the picnics on the lawn and dinners on the patio,

the baby bunnies in the herb garden (second year! SO love those little cuties!)

the prep for our beach vacation for July 4th week (Yikes! that's soon!)

and the rest of the summer calendar is just as full.

So ... now that you've read my excuses (if you're still reading!), I will fill in the gaps with pics and details as I get them posted. I have managed a few art projects amidst all this BUSYness and would love to share.

What's keeping you busy these days?

Happy Summer!

Thanks for checking in,

Jill

Soaking up more ...

When my kids were in Montessori preschool, the director likened their little minds to sponges soaking up everything possible for them to learn.

Well, I guess I feel that way too about art. So ... I'm taking yet another class to learn, grow, experiment, and just PLAY!

Fellow Brave Girl, Jeanne Oliver, creates gorgeous vintage art.

Just look at all this artsy goodness ...

Online class begins in January but registration is open now.

To join me, go to www.jeanneoliverdesigns.com

Jill

Lost in a Blue Friday

Today I'm finding myself in a blue mood - maybe it's the gloomy skies this morning or the busy weekend we have ahead of us, maybe it's stress from the last busy week(s), or that "busy" has become an all too common response to the question, "How are you?" lately. In the midst of this constantly busy life I realized this morning that I feel lonely. How can you feel lonely when you can't even keep up with your full calendar? Somehow, I can. Somehow, today all of our frequent moves and starting over is hitting me full force and, unfortunately for you (IS there any of you?) I've decided to share it on the blog.

This week I've been focusing on some home decorating. It's been an on-off project for the last year as we settled into our most recent home. While I'm hoping - no seriously praying - that this is our last house and last move and last start over, I'm also reluctant to decorate it. Partly this is out of spite - a home is something that is built over a long period of time and can't just be created in a year with new furniture and paint and silly store-bought accessories. I've always wanted our home to tell our story. I've wanted it to be welcoming to guests but more importantly I've wanted our kids to feel a part of it and feel the memories attached to it as they grow. How can I possibly create this when I keep having to start over!!? The home decorator in me is trying really hard to just make it comfy and inviting but the nearly 50 year old woman in me is just so sad that no matter what I put in here it feels too new when I feel old and it won't really tell our story. Our story is too full of beginnings. Just when I think I'm getting to a middle and putting down some roots and creating some real history, we end up starting over with another beginning again. Today I just feel so ungrounded - like I have been yanked up so many times I don't have any roots left to put down. Worst of all, I don't feel like the roots matter anymore. I want them to.

So, as I try to get out of this funk today and focus more on the house projects I'm supposed to be doing (curtains for my girls' rooms, painting my son's room and several other rooms that haven't been touched yet) I can't help feeling like I'm simply going through the motions of creating a home. Why? For myself and my family, you would think, right? I wish that was enough for me. It's not. I want to create warmth and charm and some form of fabricated history so others can see it and share it. I want people in my life. But starting over makes that so complicated. You see, they (whatever potential new friends we might find) are very busy people too. They are busy with their old friends and family that they've never had to leave and start over without. We are too far down on their wait list. What if, by the time we move up on that list, we end up having to start over again? With the fear of that happening - all that time wasted investing in new relationships - I find myself too tired of the waiting, too tired of being disappointed and moved away to invest any more time drawing people in. Focusing on the house for awhile seemed a good distraction. It's not really working.

Jill

Heading back to the classroom ...

... to teach.

I've lined up several paper art classes to share at our local Hobby Lobby (on Rt. 59 in Aurora). Here is the docket for this fall:

Canvas Autumn Mini Book ($35)

Tue. 10/4   9am-12pm or

Sat. 10/8   1pm-4pm

Handmade Journal ($30)

Tue. 10/11   9am-12pm or

Sat. 10/15   1pm-4pm

Scallop Mini Book ($25)

Tue. 10/18   9am-12pm or

Sat. 10/22   1pm-4pm

Paper Quilt Box ($25)

Tue. 11/1   9am-12pm or

Sat. 11/5   1pm-4pm

The Notebook ($25)

Tue. 11/8   9am-12pm or

Sat. 11/12  1pm-4pm

Altered Frame ($25)

Tue. 11/15   9am-12pm or

Sat. 11/19   1pm-4pm

Hoping to get plenty of folks interested. It's always a pleasure to meet new people in these classes. I'm excited to expand my circle of artsy friends. Contact me at gajgreen@aol.com if you'd like to join the fun!

Jill