Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Finally! Brave Girl Camp ... HOW WAS IT?

Get ready for some rambling musings. I've tried to organize my thoughts and words in answer to that question and I just can't seem to do it as eloquently as others I've read. Bear with me. Life changing experiences are tough to put into words.

So ... Brave Girl Camp - how was it?

It was beyond LOVELY in every visual way.
I was surrounded by BEAUTIFUL people, beautiful ART (this part was pretty intimidating!).
Melody and Kathy and their incredible friends were THOUGHTFUL and GENEROUS beyond belief.
We were PAMPERED at every turn and served the most incredibly DELICIOUS food all week.
But it was also hard, very hard and very brave for me to be there at all.
I'm an introvert (classic, quiet, invisible middle child!) and flying from Illinois to Idaho all alone knowing not a single soul was truly brave. No wonder it was hard when I got there.

But maybe it was hard to the part of me who doesn't want growth and change in my life? I was elated to be there, to be a part of something this BIG, but I couldn't shake the role of observer rather than active participant.

It was hard to see so many women in need of caring and compassion and give to them when I'm so very nearly tapped out of both after this past year and a half. But ... dig deep and it's there - that immense capacity to love we women possess. I have felt it even more since my return home.

It was hard to believe that women could possibly bond so quickly after only a few days together. I want so much to believe that is possible though. What beautiful women they are! What lovely souls! What inner strength I witnessed! I want never to forget them. I want more moments together somehow to grow what began at Brave Girl Camp. Time will tell ... but the country feels a bit smaller knowing Brave Girls are scattered all around me.

It is hard to tell where I will go from here - as a woman trying to find a new direction in life, as an artist trying to find her niche, as a mother and wife trying to be the best she can without losing sight of herself in the process. Here I go anyway. I am a Brave Girl.

It will take many weeks to process all that I experienced in that one. But I am so grateful to have had that one incredible week.