Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Finally! Brave Girl Camp ... HOW WAS IT?

Get ready for some rambling musings. I've tried to organize my thoughts and words in answer to that question and I just can't seem to do it as eloquently as others I've read. Bear with me. Life changing experiences are tough to put into words.

So ... Brave Girl Camp - how was it?

It was beyond LOVELY in every visual way.
I was surrounded by BEAUTIFUL people, beautiful ART (this part was pretty intimidating!).
Melody and Kathy and their incredible friends were THOUGHTFUL and GENEROUS beyond belief.
We were PAMPERED at every turn and served the most incredibly DELICIOUS food all week.
But it was also hard, very hard and very brave for me to be there at all.
I'm an introvert (classic, quiet, invisible middle child!) and flying from Illinois to Idaho all alone knowing not a single soul was truly brave. No wonder it was hard when I got there.

But maybe it was hard to the part of me who doesn't want growth and change in my life? I was elated to be there, to be a part of something this BIG, but I couldn't shake the role of observer rather than active participant.

It was hard to see so many women in need of caring and compassion and give to them when I'm so very nearly tapped out of both after this past year and a half. But ... dig deep and it's there - that immense capacity to love we women possess. I have felt it even more since my return home.

It was hard to believe that women could possibly bond so quickly after only a few days together. I want so much to believe that is possible though. What beautiful women they are! What lovely souls! What inner strength I witnessed! I want never to forget them. I want more moments together somehow to grow what began at Brave Girl Camp. Time will tell ... but the country feels a bit smaller knowing Brave Girls are scattered all around me.

It is hard to tell where I will go from here - as a woman trying to find a new direction in life, as an artist trying to find her niche, as a mother and wife trying to be the best she can without losing sight of herself in the process. Here I go anyway. I am a Brave Girl.

It will take many weeks to process all that I experienced in that one. But I am so grateful to have had that one incredible week.


BonnieRose said...

Jill, I feel so so blessed to hv been the first brave girl you met at the airport.. we all feel the same thing. We now hv these ppl, you.. in our lives.. why? To love us. To help us get stronger, and to just be there when we need a hug or an encouraging word. Loved this.. hugs .. xoxoo MISS YOU... and I feel so blessed to hv met you!!!!!!

Kolleen said...

i am so happy you were brave and got on that plane and came to Brave Girls!!!

it is amazing how healing can begin with love and when we are truly heard and seen.

sending you a great big hug and blankets of bravery!!!!


Kelly Lish said...

Jill that was such a beautlful post. I feel so proud of us for going all alone and being so brave to do that! It sure was a magical week. I want to remember every woman there and all the love too.
Sending you a big brave girl hug! Love to you sister <3

Mikal said...

Oh Jill, your post is wonderful! You are one of the beautiful gems that weave our Brave Girl bracelet, and it wouldn't have been the same without you.

My world feels smaller too, knowing that we are all over it. I love that sentence!

Hugs to you today!

freetofly said...

Sweet Jill....
Beyond thankful for your brave and willing soul! You were such a vital part of BGC...our group was an amazing, AMAZING, group and would not have been the same had one woman not been there....You are so valuable and oh so loved!

Rebecca said...

What an amazing experience for you...thanks for sharing with us!

Susan said...

I stumbled across your blog... I did the online version of Brave Girl Camp...I, too, am an introvert so I applaud your bravery in heading into this experience alone & with a huge gulp in your throat.
I'm reading 'Introvert Power' & discovering that we introverts actually outnumber extroverts. This books helps us to understand & celebrate our introversion & ignore society's critical (and misguided) opinion of introversion.